Sunday, February 1, 2009

Nightshift

Sometimes being an observer sucks. Three calls last night, ALL of them intoxicated underaged idiots. Honestly, I'd like to do a presentation to the freshmen at Orientation entitled "Please stop before you vomit: how to not be a tool when you drink". Or, if that's just TOO MUCH TO ASK, I wish they'd start drinking at 3 or 4 pm, so that the calls to evaluate drunken kids would come in at 10 pm instead of 3 am when we're all tucked into bed at the squadroom.
One interesting fact is that the reaction to being caught usually falls out along gender lines: the girls are the ones who inevitably start sobbing, say their parents will be SO MAD, and slur incoherent questions about whether they're "going to get in trouble". Sweetie, you were in trouble BEFORE we got here. Yes, you ARE going to get written up if you're so drunk they called us. Its not like the campus cops are TRYING to get these kids in trouble. If they "catch" somebody, it's usually because theyre falling all over the pavement.
As a result of this terribly unsatisfying drunkenness, no trauma, and i barely slept.

3 comments:

M.I.A. said...

I like the title of your freshman orientation speech! I would help you write that...

A young friend of mine was so upset about her relationship ending that she drank half a fifth of Jim Beam. She missed her classes for 2 days because of the hangover. It's just sad.

Cheryl Harris Sharman said...

Just found your blog. And, hey, your anthropology degree isn't useless! We used anthropology skills to write a book about the quarter million people who work nights in NYC. Alcohol is a veritable character in the book, as almost every industry has to interact with people drunk out of their minds. Not sure where you live & work, but we'd love to have you write a guest blog on this if you're interested.

little d, S.N. said...

I'm in the greater Philly area, not NYC...sorry!