Today was another episode of Fun And Games with the collegiate EMS dispatcher! This time, I was OVERJOYED to have a call for a -gasp- actual medical complaint! "College EMS, please respond to On Campus Nursing Home for a Really Old Dude with a witnessed syncopal episode!" 'WHEE!' I thought, 'an actual call! where I might be able to perform interventions! And help fix someone!'
No such luck. Upon arriving at On Campus Nursing Home (seriously. It's a nursing home, on campus.), we find Really Old Dude (ROD for short) sitting up in a chair, looking really lousy. "Hi, ROD!" I said with my best jaunty EMT grin, "I'm Little D, and I'll be your EMT today! When did you faint?" And that's pretty much when it all went pear shaped.
"Oh no, he never FAINTED!" Piped up the nurse at his side, "ROD got sick last night, and hasn't gotten better!" "Define 'sick' for me" I asked, warily. "Oh he's been vomiting, and having diarreha, isn't that right ROD?"
Oh great. Here we go AGAIN. "Ho ho ho!" Replied ROD, perking up a little bit. "Sir, how are you feeling?" I tried again, "You've been a good little girl! I'm feeling fine! Merry Christmas!"
Yes, ROD thinks he's Santa Claus. "ALTERED MENTAL STATUS" I wrote. "Um...ROD always thinks he's Santa Claus" interjected my partner. Peachy I thought to myself- nausea, vomiting, NO syncope, AND he think's he's Father Xmas. This is SO my day.
We dropped ROD off at the hospital as requested. This may be his last visit, as people with "Alphabet Soup" rarely do well. A SMALL sample of his PMH revealed the following: BPH, COPD, HTN, CHF, NIDDM, GERD, and PEs, and multiple DVTs, as well as at least one CVA.
This time the dispatch mixup was not all the dispatcher's fault. Apparently the nurses called in for a "Sick Episode". Seriously? A SICK EPISODE? What's next? A HUNGRY episode? This has to stop.
In other news, my morning at the Greatest Pediatric Facility In the Galaxy went extremely well.