Tuesday, April 28, 2009

In Which I Do NOT Have Swine Flu

Ok people. I know you've heard on the news about the Impending Piggy Doom that hovers over us, the "Swine Flu Possible Pandemic". But really, there is something very important that needs to be said:

OH MY GOD, STOP PANICKING!!!!

It's the flu. For the GREAT majority of people, even if you DO get it, you'll feel under the weather for a few days. Maybe a fever, chills, cough, muscle aches. You've had it before. Seriously, you have. This time it just has a scary name. Unless you like pigs. Mostly you can avoid getting it by WASHING YOUR HANDS, and not letting people cough in your face. Really. Not only am I NOT worried about this, but I'm actually planning on calling the Public Health Department first thing tomorrow to ask if they can put me on the front lines with the Epidemic Intelligence Service for the summer. That's how not worried I am, and I'm an asthmatic. Yes, one of the people who qualifies for "special circumstances that would warrent prophylaxis". Which I'm not going to take. EVEN if you get the nasty form, which is cytokine storm, where your immune system overheats a bit and makes your organs shut down, we can treat that before it gets you killed in the vast majority of cases.

In other words: YOU WILL BE OK. STOP WORRYING!!!

4 comments:

Joy said...

Thank you for this! I really haven't been following this at all. The only reason so many have died in Mexico is because of their sanitary conditions.

Anyway, I'll definitely pass this on because I'm SICK of hearing it.

Maha said...

Can I print out your blog entry and give it to every hypochondriac I have seen and will be seeing?? I'm so tired of having to tell the same thing over and over and over again to everyone with a runny nose. I had a great time calling back a particularly panicky woman from last week and telling her she tested negative just as I predicted she would!

WardBunny said...

Oh heck yea!

Panic much? Everyone's avoiding hospital at the moment. Makes it nice and quiet for us though!

little d, S.N. said...

Maha, yes you may. I have quite a few in my OWN family, and instead of studying for a test last night, I was being phoned to "explain the flu". What's to explain? ITS THE FLU!